Are Donkeys stubborn?

Understanding the donkey, its evolution, and the power of the words we use.

At Donkey EARS CIC, we often hear donkeys described as stubborn. Perhaps you have heard someone say, “That donkey won't move!” or “You can't make a donkey do anything it doesn't want to do!” I may have even said it myself.

But what if we looked at the situation differently? What if, rather than being stubborn, the donkey was simply doing what evolution has equipped it to do: pause, assess, and make a decision about whether it feels safe to proceed?

Understanding why donkeys behave as they do can change not only the way we interact with them, but also the way we think about behaviour, communication and learning in people, too.

A little bit of evolutionary history

Donkeys evolved from wild ancestors living in the harsh, arid landscapes of north-east Africa. Their environment was very different from the lush pastures and managed paddocks in which many domestic donkeys live today.

In the wild, survival depended on making sensible decisions. Food and water could be scarce, the terrain could be challenging, and predators presented a constant threat.

Unlike horses, which evolved as highly responsive flight animals, donkeys are often more inclined to stop and assess a potential threat before deciding what to do next. This is not an absolute distinction between the two species, but it helps explain why donkeys may respond differently to unfamiliar or frightening situations.

Imagine encountering a narrow bridge, an unusual shadow, a strange noise or an unfamiliar surface underfoot. A donkey may stop, lower its head, look carefully, listen and take time to decide whether it is safe to continue.

From a human perspective, this might look like refusal.

From the donkey's perspective, it may be a perfectly reasonable response to uncertainty.

What we interpret as stubbornness may actually be caution, self-preservation or a need for more information.

Stopping is communication

When a donkey stops and refuses to move, it is easy to assume that it is deliberately being difficult.

But behaviour always happens for a reason, even when we do not immediately understand it.

A donkey might stop because:

• It feels frightened or uncertain. Something in its surroundings may seem unfamiliar or potentially threatening.

• It is uncomfortable or in pain. Hoof problems, ill-fitting equipment, back pain or other physical issues can make movement unpleasant.

• It is tired or unwell. Donkeys are good at conserving energy, and changes in behaviour can sometimes indicate a health problem.

• It needs time to process a situation. A new environment, a different route or a change in routine may require patience.

• It has learned that moving forward leads to something uncomfortable. Previous experiences can influence how an animal responds in the future.

Of course, not every pause means a donkey is frightened. Donkeys have individual personalities, preferences and learned behaviours, just as other animals do.

The important point is that stopping gives us an opportunity to observe, listen and investigate rather than immediately trying to force a response.

If a donkey repeatedly refuses to move, the first question should not necessarily be, “How do I make it move?”

Perhaps a more useful question is, “What might this donkey be telling me?”

The power of the language we use

Words matter. They influence what we notice, how we interpret behaviour and how we respond to it.

When we label a donkey as stubborn, we risk turning an observation about behaviour into a judgement about character.

Once we decide that an animal is being difficult, we may become frustrated. We might apply more pressure, raise our voices or try to overpower its resistance. Unfortunately, this can increase fear and undermine trust, making the original problem worse.

Compare these two descriptions:

“That donkey is stubborn. It won't do as it's told.”

“That donkey has stopped. I wonder what is making it reluctant to move?”

The first assumes an intention and assigns blame. The second invites curiosity and encourages us to look for an explanation.

This is not simply about being kind with our words. It is about being more accurate, more observant and more effective in the way we respond to behaviour.

The same principle applies to people!

How often are children described as naughty, lazy, difficult or non-compliant when they are struggling with anxiety, sensory overload, communication, unfamiliar expectations or a task that feels overwhelming?

How often might an adult's apparent reluctance be interpreted as unwillingness, when the real barrier is fear, a lack of confidence or uncertainty about what is expected?

A label can close down our curiosity. A question can open up possibilities.

What donkeys can teach us about people

At Donkey EARS CIC — Donkey Education and Relaxation in Staffordshire — we believe that our donkeys offer wonderful opportunities to explore communication, confidence, patience and understanding.

Donkeys do not respond to our assumptions about who they are. They respond to their experiences, their environment, our behaviour and the relationship we build with them.

When we work alongside a donkey, we may need to slow down, give clear instructions, recognise body language and adjust our approach. We learn that trust cannot be demanded; it must be developed.

For children and young people with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND), these experiences can provide valuable opportunities to practise communication, problem-solving, emotional awareness and self-regulation in a practical, supportive environment.

For adults, carers and older people, spending time with donkeys can offer opportunities for connection, reflection and wellbeing.

A donkey that pauses can invite us to pause, too.

Instead of reacting with frustration, we can practise patience. Instead of assuming we know what is happening, we can become curious. Instead of insisting on our own timetable, we can consider what the situation requires.

These are useful skills far beyond the paddock.

Working with donkeys, not against them

So, if donkeys are not simply stubborn, how should we approach them when they hesitate or refuse to do something?

1. Pause and observe.Notice the donkey's posture, ears, facial expression, movement and surroundings. Look for possible signs of fear, discomfort or confusion.

2. Check for physical problems.Never assume that reluctance is behavioural without considering pain, illness, hoof health, equipment and other welfare needs. Seek veterinary advice when appropriate.

3. Consider the environment.Is there something unfamiliar, noisy, slippery or frightening? Could the task be made easier or introduced more gradually?

4. Give the donkey time.Allow opportunities to investigate and become comfortable. Rushing or increasing pressure may make the situation more difficult.

5. Build trust through positive experiences.Use calm, consistent handling and reward appropriate responses. Make sure the donkey can participate willingly and that its welfare remains central.

6. Be willing to change your approach.If something is not working, repeating it more forcefully is unlikely to be the best answer. Look for another way to communicate or break the task into smaller steps.

These approaches do not mean allowing every behaviour without boundaries. They mean setting appropriate boundaries while recognising the animal's needs, using humane training methods and taking its signals seriously.

Perhaps the donkey isn't the one who needs to change

There is something rather wonderful about an animal that does not always respond immediately to human demands.

In a world that often values speed, compliance and getting things done, the donkey can remind us of the importance of taking our time.

Perhaps the donkey that stops in the gateway is giving us an opportunity to notice something we have overlooked. Perhaps it is reminding us that trust matters more than force, that communication involves listening as well as speaking, and that a different response does not automatically mean a wrong response.

We cannot know exactly what a donkey is thinking simply by observing its behaviour. But we can learn to interpret its signals more carefully, consider the possible reasons behind its actions and respond with compassion and sound animal-welfare practice.

And perhaps, in doing so, we can become a little more understanding of one another, too.

A final thought from Donkey EARS CIC

The next time you hear someone describe a donkey as stubborn, why not try a different question?

What if the donkey isn't being difficult? What if it is communicating something we haven't yet understood?

At Donkey EARS CIC, we believe that every interaction is an opportunity to learn — about animals, about ourselves and about the way we understand others.

Sometimes, the most important step forward is to stop, look, listen and reconsider the words we use.

Donkey EARS CIC — improving lives one smile at a time.